Self-love is the best love! Love is the thing that everyone is chasing, but if they were caught, would they really have it to give?

You can't be in a RELATIONSHIP if you can’t RELATE!  So how do you know if you are really ready for a relationship?

On our journey to find the right person to connect with, we get the privilege of dating. This dating period allows us to explore all the possibilities of what we are looking for in that special someone, and then advance to the next level.  The only sure-fire way to do this, is to know yourself! 

So, first things first. Know, honor, and love yourself!  Begin by accepting your flaws and weaknesses, and be the last to let them hold you back! Allow these to be areas that inspire you towards continuous growth.  Self acceptance is not a justification to stay where you are.   Don’t lie to yourself with the “no one is perfect” view or the “this is the best I can get with my issue” mindset. Everyone wants someone who is growing.  

Secondly, make sure you have completed that bucket list of goals that are contrary to, or would negatively impact a growing, healthy relationship. For example, you might not want to begin your relationship and then the next week, go on a 6-month silent retreat. 

Thirdly, and close to second, make sure you're not looking for someone to complete you, rescue you, or be your provider. Often people connect with others for their product or service. Make sure you like them for who they are and that alone is enough. 

Fourth is to do a heart check!  Are you rebounding?  You must heal before you enter into another relationship.  It’s crucial!!! People who don't take time to process their pain tend to be involved in toxic relationships. 

Fifth on the list, is the mastery of healthy and effective communication which requires effective listening, open, truthful dialogue and emotional regulation.   You are not going to always agree and sometimes you may not realize the impact of something you do.  With a willingness to relate, perspectives can be expressed.  

The sixth one is undoubtedly important. Know that relationships are daily continuous work that requires you to step outside of yourself and consider your accountability to the relationship. It mandates self-reflection and motivation to be committed but it is well worth it.  Is one hour of each day to reflect/work on “all things relationship” asking too much for you?

Lastly, you will know that you are ready for a relationship when you have a level of maturity that shows you have acceptance to change, that you're willing to compromise and make some sacrifices.  This level of maturity allows a willingness to even submit to the one who's worthy. 

So, are you READY or NOT? Now, let’s have a quick walkthrough on some indicators that may suggest that you are still not ready or fully prepared for a relationship.

Do you still find yourself deeply affected by your past relationship? That’s a lingering emotional baggage that you don’t want to bring into your next relationship! Entering a new relationship without addressing these issues can lead to emotional turmoil and hinder the growth of a healthy connection. 

Do you rely excessively on others for validation, happiness, or a sense of identity? That signifies a lack of self-reliance. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual support and encouragement, not on one partner fulfilling the emotional void of the other.

Do you fear being vulnerable or opening up to another person? That fear can hinder intimacy and trust in a relationship. If you find yourself constantly guarding your emotions or hesitant to share your true thoughts and feelings, it may indicate underlying insecurities that need addressing before pursuing a relationship.

Do you expect your partner to fulfill all your needs and make you endlessly happy? Well, hard truth? That is unrealistic and unsustainable. If you're seeking perfection or placing unrealistic demands on potential partners, it suggests a lack of understanding of the complexities of relationships and the need for personal growth and self-awareness.

Do you have unresolved personal issues? Perhaps you struggle with regulating your emotions? These issues can significantly impact your ability to engage in a healthy relationship. Are you unwilling to resolve or change them? Remember, avoidance only postpones resolution. It's vital to confront these issues head-on. Embracing self-awareness and taking proactive steps towards personal growth are essential for building a strong foundation for love and connection.

Do you have poor communication skills? Difficulty expressing your needs, concerns, or boundaries, or a tendency to avoid conflict or confrontation, can hinder effective communication in a relationship. Without open and honest communication, misunderstandings and resentments can build, eroding the foundation of the relationship.

Do you lack clarity about what you want? If you're uncertain about what you want or need in a relationship, it's essential to take the time to clarify your values, goals, and expectations before committing to a partnership. Uncertainty can lead to confusion and frustration for both you and your partner.

Do you think you can’t prioritize? Relationship requires real commitment. If you're unable to prioritize a relationship amidst other aspects of your life or consistently prioritize work, hobbies, or other commitments over your partner, it may suggest that you're not fully prepared for the duties and compromises that come with being in a relationship.

So, here's the bottom line: before diving into a relationship, it's crucial to get to know yourself really well. Accept yourself, love yourself, and then be eager to grow! Being ready for a relationship is more than just a checklist, rather it’s a journey to self-awareness and growth. So, before saying "I do" to a relationship, take a good look at yourself. Invest time in your own growth, and when you're feeling strong and confident, that's when you'll know you're truly ready for love.

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